Gap Pink Theory Novel Chapter 47 – Choice
It disappeared…
Khun Sam disappeared for five days. He didn’t call, didn’t text, or anything. All I can do is wait. I wait until I burst into tears, because I brought all my sadness to work. Tee sees everything, so she speaks in the group, after we haven’t talked in a long time.
Jim: You didn’t fight. So why is she so quiet? Or is she sick? Or did she die?
Kate: Her cell phone must have been confiscated.
Jim: She’s too old to have her phone confiscated. She is no longer a child.
Tee: She was always a child in her grandmother’s eyes.
Jim: But her grandmother is honorable and dignified. It is unacceptable that your granddaughter has a girlfriend and is homosexual.
Tee: Ouch. How can you say that?
Jim: She said it like she was her grandmother.
Doraemon: Now I’m just worried about Khun Sam. I don’t know, did she get sick? She disappeared.
Jim: You didn’t go see her? At least she must have gone to work.
Doraemon: I’m scared.
Everyone in the group is silent.
Kate: What are you afraid of?
Doraemon: She might not be sick. Which means her grandmother forbade her to talk to me.
Tee: Then you need to go see PP otherwise you won’t be able to clear it up. She’s not the type to explain what she does. She just says what’s on her mind.
Doraemon: I’m trying to understand what she’s thinking.
Kate: Even if you reincarnate in another life, you won’t know what she’s thinking.
Kate: Go talk and see her.
Despite having Kate’s advice, I’m still worried. Tee, who is the quietest person, can’t take the whole situation anymore. She lets me work part-time and takes me to Khun Sam’s office without telling me. I am anxious and hesitant in front of her office.
I was never like that… now I’m scared of everything.
“Should we go back? If she wanted to talk to me, she would have reached out to me first.”
“Don’t be a wimp.”
“I…”
I hug myself and let Tee push me to keep walking. And when we arrive at Khun Sam’s office, everyone is silent and stops working. Now they are looking at me curiously.
Of course… The last time we saw each other was the day Khun Sam announced our relationship to everyone.
Tee walks to knock on Khun Sam’s office door and opens it without asking permission. And when we enter, Khun Sam, who has his head down on the table, slowly gets up and smiles.
I’m also upset…
“Why didn’t you let me know before you came?”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t allow it. Mon is here with me.”
Khun Sam looks at me and nods slowly. But she’s not happy or disappointed to see me.
“Close the door please.”
Tee closes the door. Then she crosses her arms over her chest and looks at her friend for a moment. More than a tense minute passes. Finally Khun Sam initiates the conversation.
“What you mean? Don’t stare at me in silence.”
“Where have you been? You left her waiting for you, hopeless.” Tee looks at me. “It made her worried about disappearing and being alone.”
“I needed to clarify a few things. That’s why I didn’t contact her.”
“But it shouldn’t have disappeared like that. She is still alive. Please tell her. What are you doing? Don’t leave her thinking alone. That hurts.”
Tee said as if he was teaching Khun Sam a lesson. Khun Sam might have felt guilty so she responds quietly.
“I am really sorry.”
I look at her and feel the tears in my eyes. Tee notices.
“I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll wait outside.”
After the beautiful woman leaves, only awkwardness and discomfort remain between us. I don’t know what to do, so I keep looking at the floor.
“Sit down.” Khun Sam gets up from his chair to sit on the couch. When she notices I’m not moving, she pulls my hand to sit me down next to her. “Don’t be silent. I am weird.”
“Me too.”
“We should do this normally.”
“Are we normal now?” I look at her and ask. Khun Sam bites his lips and rubs his face.
“Sorry for making you feel bad. Lately I have a lot of things to think about.”
“How is your grandmother?”
“She’s with the doctor. Nothing to worry about.”
And we were silent again. I don’t know what to ask, even though it’s only been a few days, I have a lot on my mind. I think I should wait.
“My grandmother begged me to get married.”
…
It rang loud and clear in the quiet room. She sighs and knows what I’m feeling.
“I have two choices. The first is to follow my heart and turn my back on everything, like Khun Nueng. But Mon, the truth is, I can’t do that.” She said in a shaky voice. And she explains her motives. “I love my grandmother very much. I’m afraid of being selfish and losing one more person in this world. When Khun Song committed suicide, I was barely able to move on. If my decision affects my grandmother, she…”
“I understand everything.”
“No, you don’t understand.”
“I understand.” I reach out my hand and squeeze her leg lightly. I cry as I speak, but I have to fake a smile. “You are a person who loves your family. It is the truth.”
“Mon…”
“And it must be disappointing that I love you the way you are. If you turn against your grandmother and choose me, I will feel bad… because you left her behind, I will think that one day you can do the same to me.”
We are both crying. Finally, she hugs me tight. When I manage to calm down, my inner weakness explodes.
“I just wanted to be sure of your decision. And about it.”
“Sorry I made everything complicated. I’m a coward, like Khun Nueng said.”
“No, you are not. You did your best. Alright… what happened was for the best.”
“I won’t ask you to wait for me if I find someone better than me.”
“I will wait for you. Until you don’t love me anymore. Then I will leave when the time comes.” I let go of her and dry my tears. “Please be sincere with your duties and do your best. I will always love you.”
“Me too.”
“Then I will go.”
Because if I stay any longer, I’ll be the selfish, possessive girl who wants her all to myself. But when I’m leaving, Khun Sam holds my hand tightly. It looks like she doesn’t want to let me go.
“Khun Sam, don’t do this. Don’t make things more complicated.”
“Aren’t we done yet?”
I smile at her and reply…
“It’s the beginning.”
She lets go of my hand and cries. I try to leave looking at the floor because I don’t want anyone to see my tears. But Mr. Kirk appears in front of me.
“Mon…”
“Mr. Kirk.”
We were silent. Finally we smile at each other and go our separate ways, like two strangers.
But I feel like he wants to tell me something.
“Sorry.”
And I hope that Mr. Kirk understand how I’m feeling.
“Congratulations.”
Sometimes this can be the happy ending…
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