Gap Pink Theory Novel Chapter 46 – Khun Nueng
Khun Nueng holds my hand to steady me. We are facing their grandmother together and she looks at us in surprise. Even though she was quiet, her eyes showed how worried she was about Khun Nueng.
“Khun Nueng.” Mr. Kirk calls her excitedly. “You came back?”
“Are we by any chance close?” Khun Nueng fiercely responds to him. “We met, but I don’t like you. I don’t like your name. Why are you called Kirk?”
“By showing up here means you’re back.” Grandma says.
“Yes, I’m back… but not to stay. Everything remains the same. The house and the people.”
“Where have you been?”
“All over the world. I have my own wings now. I can fly wherever I want.”
“That’s great. You look happy.”
“As much as possible. It is very different from here, in this palace… with you.” Khun Nueng faces his grandmother fearlessly. “When I was gone, you found another puppet. Ever get bored of controlling others in your own way?”
“Khun Nueng…” Khun Sam is trying to stop his sister, but Khun Nueng ignores her.
“I’m fighting for you, my little sister. Don’t be grandma’s puppet. You’re here to fight for yourself, right? Why are you so weak?”
Khun Sam looks down guiltily. I walk over to her and touch her shoulder to calm her down.
“Everything is fine.”
“I’m sorry, Mon. I’m too weak.”
“Yes, you are weak. You let your grandmother hit your soft spot.” Khun Nueng is disappointed in his sister. “You know very well that Grandma is calling you a debt of gratitude, which you are still carrying. So when are you going to get your own life?”
“An ingrate like you wouldn’t understand. Khun Sam is a good girl.”
“Sam needs to live his own life.” Khun Nueng shouts to grandma. “Have you had any success in forcing people? In my case, I ran away from home. Song committed suicide. And now, with your little granddaughter, whom you say you love so much. When are you going to stop this? Or do you intend to stop when you have none of us with you!?”
“Don’t blame me, it was your fault.”
“I’m just the effect, but you… you’re the cause. Now, you’re forcing Sam to get married. Do you want to see her commit suicide to stop forcing us to do what you want?”
“Do not yell at me! You are no longer my granddaughter.” She cries as she says. Then, she looks like she’s going to pass out, but Mr. Kirk catches her just in time. “Get out of here… get out.”
“My existence hurts you, doesn’t it?”
“Get out!”
“Then I will stay.” The older sister crosses her arms and looks at her grandmother. And when Khun Sam is going towards his grandmother, Khun Nueng stops her. “Is that you. Be determined. You intend to rebel, you need to do what you want. How will Mon feel to see you this weak?”
“Khun Nueng, grandma is not well right now.”
“And? She’s fooling you now like she did to me before. She pretends to faint.”
“Khun Nueng!” Khun Sam yells at his sister and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. But Khun Nueng stands still.
“Turn your back on this palace and go away. The rule that wins this game is… you need to love yourself more than others.”
“But…”
“Go now!”
“Khun Sam, please don’t leave.” Your grandmother screams as if she is sick. “If you go, I will make you disappear from my life.”
“What you are doing is pushing everyone out of your life. Instead of caring and giving love, you are selfish. You used us as you pleased.”
Khun Nueng interrupts her slowly. It’s been painful for Khun Sam to leave the palace.
“…”
“From today, please die alone.” Khun Nueng said to grandma.
“Khun Sam!” The grandmother’s scream makes her stop for a moment. Khun Sam squeezes my hand tightly. But she doesn’t turn around, as Khun Nueng directs.
“Try your best, please don’t look back.”
“Grandfather! Mr. Kirk screams loudly in shock. And he now calls out to Khun Sam. “Sam! Grandma fainted.”
“Grandfather!”
Khun Sam turns around, but Khun Nueng glares at her.
“She is not sick. She is trying to get her attention. I told you to go away. Go fast.”
“But…”
“Go!”
Khun Sam is now confused. Even though I’m so worried about Grandma, she loves me very much. Finally she holds my hand as we walk towards the car. She is very worried and anxious.
I do not feel well…
Why has everything gone too far? If I’m feeling this way, how will she feel? She will feel so much more.
After we get home, Khun Sam doesn’t say anything and keeps walking in circles, anxious. As for me, sticking with her for support is better than saying something.
“Mon.”
“Y… yes.”
“Will you love me forever?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“I don’t know.” She eagerly bites her nails. “I am so confused between what Khun Nueng said and what is moral.”
“It’s painful, isn’t it?” I jump to hug Khun Sam, who is still biting his nails. “Everything will be fine. We will get through all of this together.”
“She’s been with me forever… I keep telling myself that if there’s no grandma, I don’t exist. But today I faced her because I love someone else.” Khun Sam said. Then she hugs me tightly, like she’s looking for shelter. “If something happens to her, I will never forgive myself.”
I won’t forgive myself either.
Of course, I don’t say this out loud. I don’t want to put more pressure on her. I need to pretend to be strong, to be her shelter.
Our love is not easy.
After talking, Khun Sam feels better. Even though I’m still a little worried.
I take a shower and get ready for bed. When I leave the bathroom, I see Khun Sam staring at her cell phone. It’s ringing… it keeps ringing.
“Who’s calling?”
“Kirk.”
“Aren’t you going to answer?”
“I can not.”
“This afraid?”
“I don’t know.”
I hold her hands and kneel in front of her, she is sitting on the bed.
“Pick it up. You need to know what happened. Perhaps this link is important. You might regret it if you don’t.”
“I’m scared to answer and our relationship will be destroyed.”
“If we believe in love, nobody can destroy it.”
“You are so confident. But I’m scared of feeling guilty for destroying our love.”
“It’s okay… I know you love me. If he didn’t love, he wouldn’t have left the palace with me.”
She keeps shaking her head in disagreement as the phone keeps ringing. Finally, I take her cell phone and press the answer button and pass it to her.
“What?”
[Sam, your grandma wasn’t fooling you. Now she is in the hospital.]
Her tears flow with all the guilt in her heart, before holding the cell phone to speak.
“Was it too much?”
[She had a cardiac arrest.]
“She wasn’t sick before.”
[She has a heart condition, didn’t you know?]
“…”
She cries loudly. And I cry with her. When I see that she is unable to speak, I speak with Mr. Kirk instead.
“Where is she now, Mr. Kirk?”
[She’s in the…]
“Thank you.”
Right after I hang up the call, she breaks down in tears. And she starts hitting herself in the head.
“I am a bad person, very bad, Mon”.
“Everything will be fine. Let’s change to go visit her. Mr. Kirk called us, it means your grandma is fine now.”
She stares at me as she has something on her mind. Then she shakes her head in disagreement and wipes her tears.
“You are not going. I’m going alone.”
“You are very shaken. How are you going to drive around by yourself?”
“I can. Stay here.”
“But…”
“Please.”
She takes a deep breath and picks up her car keys. All I can do is run to hug her from behind.
“I love you very much, Khun Sam.”
“…”
“Whatever you decide, I will still love you. Do not regret.”
She squeezes my hand tightly and nods instead of answering me.
“Uhmm.”
Finally, she leaves.
Every second feels like an eternity.
Everything will be fine if Khun Sam decides to walk away from my life… everything happens for a reason.
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