Gap Pink Theory Novel Chapter 45 – a lead actress
I thought it through before I said it. It will hurt anyone who hears it, but for those who said it, who still love her so much, it hurts more. How painful it all is.
Khun Sam looks like he hit his head. She’s dizzy and having a hard time believing the words I’ve said.
“You want to finish me?”
Hearing the words from her mouth makes my heart shatter. I want to touch her and hold her, but I control myself, because I’ve come this far and I can’t go back.
“We have reached the end of our road together. You must accept.”
“No, I’m not going.” She keeps shaking her head in denial. “Why don’t you believe me? This marriage is just to satisfy my grandmother. Kirk and I will not have a deep relationship.”
“You need to wake up. This is the real world. You are getting married and it will be impossible for nothing to happen on your wedding night.” I bite my lips hard. “I am also hurt. Do you think I don’t feel anything?”
“Then why do we need to break up?!”
“Why? Because I don’t want to become an adulteress.” I cry like a loser, put my hands over my face and fall to my knees without any hope. “I don’t want to think that you might end up sleeping with him. Or what noises it will make if you sleep with it on. Or if one day you will love him more than me. And he will become your true husband.”
“Never. I will never let that happen.”
She kneels down to accompany me, wipes the tears from my face with her thumb.
“Accept, Khun Sam. We are women. We won’t be able to live our whole lives together.” I say while crying. “One day you will have your own family. Especially you, who were born to be perfect. If you make this mistake, how will they look at you?”
“I don’t care about others.”
“What about your grandmother?”
“…”
“You don’t want to disappoint your grandmother, correct? You are a good girl. You cannot disappoint her.”
Khun Sam looks at me like he doesn’t know how to calm me down. I face her and say decided;
“I realized this a while ago. Even if you didn’t have your grandmother, we wouldn’t have a happy ending. I can’t drag you with me. We need to finish.”
“You asked to date me. You cannot leave me.” Khun Sam cries and tries to dry his own tears. Now she is so understanding. “If you thought we couldn’t go on together, you shouldn’t have made me fall in love with you.”
“I never thought we would get this far with this. I just adored you as my idol and now I’m his girlfriend. It is a lot to me.”
“…”
“This world is for the strong. Khun Nueng told me that we couldn’t get past your grandmother, because your grandmother knows the world better than we do.”
“Khun Nueng…?” Khun Sam bites his bottom lip hard. “What else did she say?”
“She told me I’m too weak. And that you are too good… In this game, the winner is your grandmother and that we both should just accept that fact.”
“I do not accept.”
Khun Sam stands up and crosses his arms tightly. She looks weird so I stand up too feeling anxious for her.
“What will you do?”
“I’ll show you…” Khun Sam glares at me. “I think I’m strong enough. There is a place where we can live together.”
“Khun Sam…”
“I will rebel.”
I’m stunned, she pulls me in and hugs me tight. Now I’m calming down and I can answer it.
“I don’t want to see you rebel against your grandmother.”
“I won’t do this for you.”
“…”
“I will do it for myself.”
As Khun Nueng said, letting Khun Sam fight alone is selfish of me. This time, I can’t help Khun Sam much, but I will support her. Now I feel like I’m fighting her on this battlefield.
Khun Sam and I sat in her living room. She makes me sit next to her and holds my hand tightly.
“Give me strength.”
She pulls me in and hugs me for a moment. Khun Sam takes out his cell phone and presses the name of Mr. Kirk.
What she will do?
[Hey, Sam.]
She turns on the speaker. The sound gets loud in this silent room. Khun Sam is confident in the conversation with Mr. Kirk, as if he were in control of the game.
“Kirk, can you speak now?”
[For you anytime.]
“Let’s cancel our wedding ceremony.”
Mr. Kirk is silent for a second. So, he seriously responds to Khun Sam.
[No way.]
“Then marry yourself. I am not going.”
[Sam!]
She quickly hangs up the phone. Khun Sam sighs as if she’s taken a mountain out of her heart.
“He is well? You canceled your wedding. What about your grandmother?”
“Because I canceled the ceremony, my grandmother will find out soon enough. In the case of my grandmother… I will have to consult my assistant.”
“Who?”
“It is.”
Khun Sam lifts his cell phone to show me a contact from his list. And I’m surprised.
“Are you sure?”
“Hmm. From the theory of psychology, if we are surrounded by good people, we will be fine.”
“If we fear, we must be with a determined person… And that is Khun Nueng.”
So she calls Khun Nueng, who answers excitedly.
[Hey! My little girl. I took money from her. Sorry to bother you. I will return it to you as soon as I can.]
“That money?” Khun Sam looks at me. And I remember.
“Oh. Khun Nueng called me to borrow money. I already transferred it to her.”
[Yes. Your girlfriend is a sweetheart.]
“Where are you now, Khun Nueng?”
[In Thailand, why?]
Khun Sam bites his lips a little. It looks like she is deciding something and then she says:
“I need your help, Khun Nueng.”
Khun Nueng is silent for a moment before he says something as if he already knows what it is.
[You’re going to ask me to talk to our grandmother, right?]
“Do you know…”
[I will not go. I don’t want to get in trouble. I haven’t seen her for a long time. If we meet, we’ll fight. This is your problem, you need to solve it yourself.]
“Can you help me?”
[My little girl, you are a big girl now. You have your own business and your own money. I should be more determined. If you didn’t have me, what would you do?]
“I dare not quarrel with our grandmother…”
[There’s a first time for everything. When I decided to leave the palace, it wasn’t easy for me. But I got it. In my opinion…]
“I’ll pay you a hundred thousand, to at least go with me.” [NT: Approximately BRL 14,000.00]
[Money can’t buy me…]
“Khun Nueng…”
[When it’s not enough… Okay, okay. Transfer to my old account. Cash first. When are you going to see our grandma?]
I spy on Khun Sam. Is everything about money in the end?
“Today. I just canceled my wedding ceremony with Kirk. Grandma will find out soon.”
[I hate that guy’s name… Kirk. What does that mean?… I hate that name.]
“And then?” Khun Sam asks his sister that she keep talking about his name. “If it’s today, is that okay with you?”
[I’m in Chonburi, if I take a bus it should take about two hours. So, I’ll see you at the palace at 8:00. Ah, like old times. I really miss our grandmother a lot.]
She said excitedly. Khun Sam is so anxious about facing his grandmother. Your good natured mind must be feeling so guilty.
“See you later.”
After the conversation is over, I lift my hand to touch her body which is now so cold.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do that when I’m face to face with her. I’ve never resisted or disappointed her before. It will be my first time.”
I’m really worried about her.
“We can cancel this.”
“We have come too far to turn back. It’s true that I don’t want to fight with my grandmother, but I don’t want to lose you.”
“Take it easy. Do your best. I will be with you.”
“Please be strong. I know it’s not easy.”
I nod to answer the person who wants to do so much for me.
“For sure. We will get through all of this together.”
***
Even though we supported each other, inside we are worried. Especially when I’m in her car and it’s my first time in the palace where she was born and raised.
It’s called a palace. I used to imagine a Thai house with Portuguese design, but in fact it is a renovated, luxurious and modern mansion, which reflects the owner’s taste.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Khun Nueng designed it.”
“There is?”
The rumor that Khun Nueng is a perfectionist must be true. This house is as beautiful as the ones you see in magazines.
“Grandma didn’t like it. She said it got too western. Most of all, she didn’t like to see Khun Nueng studying architecture.”
“So, she resisted her grandmother for a long time.”
“Perhaps. But she exploded when she was forced into marriage. If I could, I would ask her why she ran away. She saw it, this time I have a reason…”
“What is your motive?”
“Love.” Khun Sam looks at me and smiles in the corner. “But I will never know about Khun Nueng.”
“You should ask her later. We will see her tonight.”
“Hmm.” Khun Sam looks at his watch and frowns. “It’s already 8:30 pm. She did not arrive yet. I transferred the money.”
“You should try calling her.”
But after we transferred the money to her, she turned off her cell phone. Khun Sam and I looked at each other worriedly.
“Khun Nueng tricked us.”
“She’s not that type. She has dignity.”
“So… what should we do? If Khun Nueng doesn’t come, should we go back?”
“No, I came with the intention of arguing. If not today, I don’t know when I’ll have another chance.”
“Someone is coming.”
A maid dressed in a white blouse and long black pants hurries to tap on the car window and look inside. She is a little surprised to see me with Khun Sam.
“Did you bring a guest? I saw you parked here for quite some time, so your grandmother asked me to invite you in.”
“I…” Khun Sam hesitates for a moment and nods. “Yes. I will see her now.”
I touch her arm and she smiles back at me, demonstrating that she has made up her mind.
“It’s gonna be okay. I can handle it. Wait for me here in the car.”
“Aren’t you going to make her wait inside?” The maid asks.
“She’d better wait right here. I won’t be long.”
Khun Sam decides to get out of the car, she stops and looks at me all confident, even though she is more and more anxious with each step she takes towards the house. And as for me, waiting is all I can do for her. I wanted to be with her.
Ten minutes…
Twenty minutes…
Waiting in the car is uncomfortable for me, and I get out of the car and lean my head against the door waiting for her. A moment later, Khun Sam suddenly leaves the palace with Mr. Kirk following her.
“Sam, she is your grandma!”
“Stay away from me! You are the reason for this mess!”
Khun Sam yells at Mr. Kirk, who is trying to stop her. She lets go of his hand.
“Khun Sam!”
An aggressive voice reaches her. Now she is petrified.
“You’ve never resisted me before. It’s because of this girl, right?”
“I just want to follow my heart.” It’s my first time seeing Khun Sam lose confidence, it’s not like Boss ML who scared us. “I was your little girl for a long time, but…”
“I chose the best for you.”
“When it comes to love, I want to choose myself.”
“You are the most famous among my granddaughters. Don’t make things complicated.” Her grandmother sees me standing still. “Bring her here. You dishonored me.”
“I…” Khun Sam was going to say something, but it looks like she still has a lot of regard for her grandmother. And I can feel it now… we will be the losers in this battle. “Grandfather…”
“This is not right… Grandma.”
A voice screams from behind me, a powerful voice. I turn to see, it’s Khun Nueng, in a tight black dress, exuding intelligence and confidence, unlike the one I’ve seen before.
“Khun Nueng.”
“Mon, you let my little sister fight alone again…” Khun Nueng grabs my wrist and places me next to Khun Sam. “Together, don’t hide behind her. Is not cool.”
“Khun Nueng, I thought you weren’t coming.”
“The lead actress must appear at the correct time. Just straighten your spine, lift your head and don’t be afraid.”
The confident woman winks at me. This is the first time she’s made my heart race. The perfectionist.
“From now on, it’s my turn.”
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