Gap Pink Theory Novel Chapter 44 – End
“How much does Tee pay you in salary?”
“Twenty thousand. If I pass the training program, I will receive another two thousand.”
“She pays you more than my company. But as my girlfriend, she should pay you more than that.”
Khun Sam keeps talking while watching television. She doesn’t say anything about her marriage. And I don’t want to force her… I’m just waiting for her to tell me.
“What’s it? She seems distracted.”
“Hmm.”
“I’m just thinking about nothing.”
“Work? If it’s too difficult, you can stay home. I bank you.”
“How long can I stay at home without working?” I keep looking at the television, but Khun Sam looks at me.
“For as long as you like.”
“If you ever have your own family?”
“You are my family.”
My heart races. I look at her and feel cherished.
“I’m glad to hear this.” I tilt my face to kiss her on the cheek, but it looks like she wants more. She cups my face and kisses my lips thirstily. “I just gave you a little kiss.”
“The kiss is the beginning of everything.”
“You really like that.”
“Let’s go up.”
I wrinkle my nose a little and follow easily.
“I know you like.”
***
I try to do everything like I don’t know about her marriage. I didn’t even mention it to her friends in the group about it. The wedding invitation is still hidden at the bottom of my purse. As much as I want to ask her, I’m afraid to push her. She’ll find a way for us to be together… I’m counting on her.
“Are you worried about something?”
Isn’t it amazing? When I have no one to vent to, Nop is the only one who listens. I know this well, it’s not right to bring my love problems to someone I can tell. But I really don’t know what else to do.
“A little.”
“It’s too much, because you came to me. Your only friend.”
“Clear.” I sit down next to him and sigh. “It’s so sad to know that I only have you as a friend and you’re the only one who listens to me.”
“Friendship is just that. We only know who is a true friend in these moments.”
Thief for him. When he realizes he starts laughing.
“So what happened? I’m all ears.”
“Nop, a girlfriend or a fiance you’re going to marry. Who is more important?”
“What you mean?”
“In case…”
“No, just in case. I want to give you some advice. I will tell you the truth.”
I know how boring it is to hear half a story. So I decide to tell him everything.
“Khun Sam and I, we are in a relationship. But she is getting married.”
“It got giant.”
“Yes.”
“What she said?”
“I did not say anything. But it’s important.”
“Khun Sam doesn’t know that I know. I don’t want to push you any further. I want her to tell me.”
“How did you know about that?”
“Mr. Kirk told me about their wedding.” I hand him the wedding invitation. “This is the invitation.”
“You need to talk to Khun Sam about this. This is important. Khun Sam is getting married while she is still dating you.”
“She will handle this herself.”
“Will even? Mon, listen to me. I know how much you love and respect her. But about this problem, you can’t just ignore it. If she gets married, it means she will have a husband. Is that you?”
“Adulteress.”
“Yes.”
“Even though I got there first?”
“Are you sure you got there first?”
Sigh!
I’m suddenly stunned by this blunt question, because I remember that I came late in Khun Sam’s life. She only has feelings for me, this is to test my disposition. The path of true love is never a straight line.
But this is too much for me…
“Why is it like this? Why don’t you just say what you’re supposed to say?”
“Khun Sam has been under… a lot of pressure… I think…”
“You go too easy on her. Does she do the same to you? Now you are going to let your husband have a husband.”
“Nop…” I glared at Nop for saying it like that. Nop raises his hand to scratch his head before changing the sentence.
“Okay, better call her your wife. Your wife is going to have another wife.”
“Nope!”
“I don’t know how your relationship with Khun Sam is, who is the husband and who is the wife.”
“Please stop talking like that.” I wave my hands at him to stop talking because I’m embarrassed. “I believe that Khun Sam will find a way for us to be together.”
“If you really believed that, you wouldn’t have come to see me. The reason you are here is indecision. Because Khun Sam’s boyfriend went to talk to you and he has a hundred percent right to do so. What are you afraid of? You also have the right.”
“I… I don’t know how to start talking about this with her. She loves me and I know it, but she has her own family to worry about.” I place my hand over my aching chest and say, “Or should I just let it be.”
“So that means you’re going to leave her.”
“Not.”
“Adulteress… Mon, don’t be pathetic.”
“If I’d known I’d regret talking to you, I wouldn’t have come.” I say disappointed. “I better go.”
“What did you want? Should I just support you becoming an adulteress? A good friend should warn you when you are going the wrong way.”
Tears in my eyes. My mind understands it well, but my heart doesn’t want to hear it. I turn my back on him and go back to my house. As I’m slumped in bed, my phone rings again. At first, I thought it would be Khun Sam, but I was wrong…
Khun Nueng…
I’m taken aback and let my phone ring before answering it.
“Hello? Khun Nueng?”
[Ah, you know it’s me.]
“I saved your number.”
[We can talk? I will not be long.]
She makes me smile. It must be true that a positive force can absorb all the negative.
“Of course we can.”
[At the moment, I am having a lot of financial difficulties. Can you lend me some money? You can take it back from my little sister, she’s rich, she can pay for me.]
“Of course, but now I’m not with Khun Sam.”
“Aaaa, I thought you were making out with her.”
“I usually stay there.”
“You do not look well. Did they fight? Hey… Life is too short for fights. It’s useless. Please live happily. If you have a misunderstanding, talk it out. I’ve been through all that, just ask me.”
“The way you live is so easy.”
I stay silent and close my eyes. My words hinted that I know about what happened to her and she will be able to tell by my silence.
[You already know everything, right? Did my little sister tell you?]
“Not even.”
“I just had it easy for a few years. Doing what it wanted, the world has a lot to teach us. Caring about someone for a long time until you feel unhappy is pointless. Sometimes you need to be selfish… for your own good.]
“Yes.”
[Your voice seems to disagree with me. Haha. Alright, I know, I know. A lot of people don’t understand why I did that.]
“Do you want to go back to your grandmother?”
[If you knew her, you wouldn’t talk to me like that. No one in this world wants to see my grandmother. By the way… have you met her yet? Does she know you’re my little sister’s girlfriend?]
She seems interested, which I feel comfortable saying about.
“Yes.”
[Something wrong?]
“Some things.”
[If there wasn’t, it would be weird and she definitely wouldn’t be my grandma.]
What a wonderful woman.
[Was she mean to you? She’s not the type to scream. She probably insulted you and let you down on yourself.] Khun Nueng laughs and I laugh back because I don’t know how to respond. [And my little sister, what did she say?]
“She didn’t say anything. We kept dating in secret…”
[Secret? Ah… Grandma’s little girl. You two are definitely over. Sam is too weak. Haha.]
Khun Nueng leaves me stunned. I’m so disappointed. All I want now is encouragement and support. But she is making me more and more disappointed.
[Oh, you’re quiet.]
“I do not know what to say.”
[You are a loser. One hundred percent loser.] Khun Nueng sighs a little. [Ah. My credits are running out. So… transfer money to me, please. Ten thousand, and take it back from my little sister. Tell her I called you to borrow it, she’ll pay you back. She is rich.]
“Yes.”
[As for you… now that you’re dating her, try to benefit yourself. It’s a good opportunity for you.]
“I’m not dating her for the money.”
[Are you going to tell me it’s because of love?]
“Yes.”
[What kind of love is that? Where neither one fights for him? You are a loser. Sam is Grandma’s spoiled little girl. You two won’t get far with this. Its end will be a love tragedy. And the winner will be my grandmother.]
“I don’t want to be selfish.” I argue with her after feeling uncomfortable. “Khun Sam told me he’ll figure it out. All I can do is wait.”
[Doing nothing means it’s love? You’re letting my little sister fight a war on her own… well, let me tell you something. My little sister can’t get over grandma. Because she knows our weaknesses well.]
“You did it, Khun Nueng. Live without caring about anyone.”
[…]
“…”
We were both silent. Finally, Khun Nueng is the first to speak because by now he must know that I am more serious.
[I said, life is too short. I just chose my own path. I didn’t let my grandmother rule. If Khun Song was still alive, I would have committed suicide.]
“And now, all the pressure is on Khun Sam.”
[Khun Sam needs to survive. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel sorry for Khun Song. But she left us because she was too weak. There is no place in the world for the weak. She is my grandmother, I know her well.]
“What do I need to do?”
Now, I’m the one asking for help with this rock. But she laughs.
[You need to be strong to survive. Self-love and selfishness are different things… Selfishness is for my grandma.]
“…”
[So, you two need to be selfish with my grandmother.]
Khun Nueng hangs up the phone and I send her the ten thousand baht consulting fee. (I’ll get it back from Khun Sam.) What she just said to me stays in my head all night. I keep thinking about it, I can’t sleep. I look at my wristwatch and it’s already 1am. It’s hard to sleep, so I take out my phone to read the old messages between Khun Sam and me. What a surprise! She texts me while I’m reading.
Boss: Have you gone to bed yet?
I jump out of bed and I’m not sure if I should answer her or not. But I read the message, which tells her I’m awake.
Doraemon: No, I can’t sleep. So I’m messing around on my cell phone.
Boss: Me too. Now I’m in front of your house.
Doraemon: You’re kidding.
Boss: Seriously. If you don’t believe me, look out your window.
I still don’t believe it, but I walk over to the window and look out. I meet Miss Duanpen in front of my house. I run to see Khun Sam knowing that everyone in my house is already asleep.
“Why did you come here? It’s so late.”
“I can not sleep.” She came even though she was in pajamas. And I’m not sure if she’s wearing underwear.
“So you came to see me in my pajamas? Looks like he was in a hurry to see me at one o’clock in the morning…”
“You already know everything, why didn’t you ask me?”
“What?”
“About my marriage.”
“How do you know that?”
“Your friend called me and told me everything… that bastard.” Khun Sam turns and looks at Nop’s house. “I don’t know how he got my number.”
I close my eyes and go back to hating Nop.
“I didn’t tell you I knew because I didn’t want to make you more worried.”
“I’m worried you didn’t tell me. So that was why you were so quiet lately.”
“Are you really going to marry him?” I ask her. She is impressed and looks away.
“My grandmother begged me.”
“And you accepted…” I sigh and feel a rage inside. She must know I’m mad, so she rushes over to explain herself.
“But I have an agreement with Kirk that we will not have a sexual or romantic relationship. I will be forced to marry him.”
“So this is how you found it?” I say in a shaky voice. Khun Sam reaches out to touch me, but I pull away from her. “I thought you would find a better way.”
“I don’t want to disappoint my grandmother. She has already regretted it enough.”
“So, you decided to marry another man and keep me by your side, right?”
This was the first time I yelled at my love. Khun Sam, who is shocked, tries to hug me to calm me down. But it is not easy.
“Leave me! Please don’t touch me.”
“Mon, listen to me. Kirk and I are not having sex.”
“This is real life, Khun Sam. There’s probably no man and woman in this world who wouldn’t have sex while staying in the same room on their wedding night.”
“Mon…”
“I don’t want to do this anymore. Enough…” I cover my face with my hands. “I don’t want to be an adulteress.”
Lately, since the word ‘adulteress’ has sunk into my heart, I’ve tried to replace it with ‘hope’ because I trust it. I thought she would find a better way, but she didn’t. What Khun Nueng said is true.
Khun Sam never disappointed his grandmother.
She is too weak… and has become a loser.
Let’s lose this game!
“I do not know what to do.”
“I know.”
“What?”
I look up to see her as resolutely as I can. And it shocks her.
“Let’s finish.”
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