Gap Pink Theory Novel Chapter 21 – Cause
We are looking each other in the eyes. His hazel eyes are hypnotizing me and my heart is leaping out of my chest.
“Serious? Whatever I want?”
“Um, if you like.”
“In that case…” And I’m silent for a long moment, then say something back. “I want to hear you bark.”
“Huh?”
“Be a dog.”
We were silent. She raises her eyebrows in confusion.
“Why a dog?”
“Dogs have unconditional love.”
“…”
“Saw? You were the one who said it would be what I wanted.”
I tell her sensitively. Khun Sam sighs and shakes his head.
“All you want is unconditional love like a dog’s?”
Despite the fact that I asked, I am ashamed of this strange desire and I don’t even have time to prepare an explanation, she suddenly asks me:
“Then I will bark like a dog. What kind?”
“Hey? Are the barks different?”
“A Thai dog will bark ‘honghong’ but a foreign dog barks ‘bowbow’. She coughs and then says, “Listen carefully bowwwwww.”
“A dog like the Tiger,”
“I didn’t see him grow up, just when he was a puppy. I heard him bark with a little voice like ‘Awwww’… like that.”
We changed the subject to barking dogs and I forgot about all the bad stuff. Now we are discussing the nature of Thai dogs compared to foreign dogs.
“I will be a dog. I will love you…unconditionally.” She cracks her neck and looks at me thoughtfully… “Um, what can dogs do?”
“Play.”
“Try.”
“Khun Cham.”
“Hmm.”
“I called the dog. Saw? Khun Cham.”
The pretty face looks at me dissatisfied.
“Who uses ‘Khun’ with a dog? Do you know the language level? Please don’t tell anyone that you graduated from the same university as mine. How embarrassing.”
She is so mean. I was just teasing.
I’m sitting sloppily and standing there while Khun Sam has her arms crossed.
“ChamCham.”
“Yes.”
“Call me ‘ChamCham’ and I’ll be your dog. And I will love you unconditionally… Try.”
“ChamCham.”
“You have to touch my body too, when you play with a dog you need to touch gently.”
I do what she asks. I touch her body gently. When she sees what I’ve done, she walks over to me and licks my lips, as if she’s been waiting for this moment for a long time.
“There is?”
“When you play with a dog, he licks you.”
“I see… I can see it’s easy for you to be a dog.”
“Your lips are strangling me.”
“…”
“I want to do more… I’ve been missing those lips for a long time.”
“Since Kate and her other friends found out, we haven’t played anymore.”
“All right. I have a reason to play with you. If they ask me again, I will answer that I am ChamCham.” She sulks and pouts. “Who… who wouldn’t want to play with ChamCham?”
“And… errr…” I get a little shy. “It’s good?”
“Wouldn’t you like it, bunny?”
“ChamCham.” I touch her nose in embarrassment. “It is… really nice.”
And Khun Sam can no longer hide his smile. She finally licks my mouth again. “Good to hear you liked it.”
We had never been mad at each other for this long before. Now, we can comfortably talk about everything. From this day forward, we are together again and we have a new rule: We will not call ourselves ‘other’ again.
Um… But it hurts. Because it hurts? I do not know how to explain.
Mr. Kirk and Khun Sam continue to joke around on Facebook and Khun Sam has learned new skills to respond to him. And she does what she wants.
“If you can, so can I.” That’s her way.
Even her brawling skills are that of a beginner.
Ronaldo, a nice guy: When are you going to stop meddling in my affairs? I spoke to Mon, not you.
I’m your boss: Mon doesn’t talk to rude guys like you. Puppy.
Puppy? …Is that rude? Puppy!?
***
Time has passed and today is Jim’s wedding ceremony. Of course, I was invited. Khun Sam is there early as she is the maid of honor at the wedding. But in my case, Mr. Kirk came to my house to pick me up for the evening ceremony.
“You didn’t have to come get me, I could have gone alone.”
“Of course you did, otherwise how would you go?”
“I would take a taxi.”
It seems like he’s approaching me with ulterior motives. It must be because of fear. He’s afraid I’m going to tell Khun Sam that he’s seeing someone else, so he wants to keep an eye on me. In fact, I’ve told him several times that he doesn’t have to be afraid, because I’m not going to tell anyone. I don’t have the right.
I should tell him that again, maybe he’ll be more comfortable.
Finally, we arrived at the wedding ceremony. It’s a big, lavish ceremony, as high society people will be here. As I said, all of Khun Sam’s friends are from famous and well-known families, even if they did ordinary things. But in fact, they all have prestigious ancestors.
You need to have at least 10 million baht* to prepare this wedding ceremony. The guests were a little over 300 people.
*NT: Approximately 1.5 million reais.
Some guests are famous, some politicians and other stars. I get excited to see them and I feel inferior for being here.
“Mon.”
Someone calls me from afar. It’s Jim, the bride. She calls me for a photo. I greet the elegant bride, so unlike the Jim I’ve seen before.
“You look beautiful tonight.”
“Why wouldn’t I be? I paid almost 50000 baht* for this look today. If I don’t look beautiful, I’m going to cry.” She says happily. “Why did you come with Sam’s fiancé?”
*NT: Approximately BRL 7,500.00.
My expression changes when I hear ‘Sam’s Fiancé’, but I quickly cover it up with a smile.
“He is my boss.”
“OK I understand.”
“Hey! Where are Kate and Sam?”
“They are making up upstairs. The bridesmaids will be more beautiful than the bride. See if you can? Look! Here they come.”
A group of three ladies we were talking about are coming in as a Korean girl group, and everyone steps aside. Kate walks in front with glamour, leading the others to us.
“You can make a grand entrance, but please don’t try to outdo the bride. Be respectful, I who am the bride here.” Jim said.
Now the group of godmothers is in the spotlight. It must be because Kate is a famous actress and her looks attract people around.
“What’s it? Today I didn’t wear a single style of makeup.”
“Oh ok, what about this shading to model your face?… And you, PP?” Jim turns to see Khun Sam, who has left her hair long and curly around her shoulders and is wearing a white dress that perfectly shapes her body. “You’re just the godmother, did you have to look this beautiful?”
She shrugs and looks at Jim.
“What can I do? I am beautiful.”
“Can we hate and love someone at the same time?” Jim said. “Saw? Your second wife is here. Have you greeted her yet?”
Jim turns to me. I am delighted with Khun Sam. She looks so beautiful and inviting me to focus only on her tonight. Right next to Kate, who is a star.
“Why are you only here now, bunny? It didn’t come at the morning ceremony.” She blames me. “Haven’t seen you all day.”
“I didn’t know what to do at the morning ceremony. So, I thought it best to come at night.”
“I did not know what to do? You just had to come see me.”
Her friends are looking at each other like they’re going to disappear. So someone says:
“Sam… your husband.”
“Why do you keep calling him husband?” she says in a long obnoxious tone. Then, she greets Mr. Kirk. “Why are you late?”
“I went to get Mon first.”
She looks at me immediately in surprise.
“Why did you have to go get her?”
“How could I let her come alone? Today she looks beautiful in this dress. It’s not safe to take a taxi alone.”
I can feel that Khun Sam is upset, but it went by so fast. It was like she was dissatisfied with me being around her fiancé.
This is not pleasing anyone, I need to speak seriously with Mr. Kirk.
“Mr. Kirk.”
Someone calls him. My handsome boss slowly turns around.
“Good night.”
“You came for the ceremony. Where is your girlfriend?”
“Sam, come over here, please.”
Khun Sam is called to stand by him and she doesn’t resist. I see that the two are talking to an honored guest, I feel like I shouldn’t be here.
I feel like I’m holding a candle…
“Come eat something with me…”
Tee grabs me by the shoulder and starts to lead me around the room, but soon Khun Sam calls out to me.
“Where are you going?”
“Let’s go to the hall.” Tee answers for me. So Khun Sam says:
“Why don’t you wait for me?”
“You are talking. It’s okay, I’ll take care of Mon for you. Unhurried.” Tee answers for me.
I smile at Khun Sam, but she doesn’t react.
Jim’s evening wedding ceremony is a cocktail party. Seats are reserved for honored guests. In my case, I’m exhausted from standing in high heels to improve my appearance.
Tee takes care of me like he promised Khun Sam. Glad she cares.
“You can go enjoy your friends. I can stay here alone.”
“Kate is coming, relax. I’m too lazy to talk to all these people.”
“Is only Kate coming?”
“Who did you expect to see? P.P., right?” That’s right, she knows who I had in mind.
“Khun Sam is the only one I’m close to in this ceremony, but I understand, she must stand by Mr. Kirk.”
“How do you feel when you see them together?”
“What would I feel?” I answer back, even with the emotion in my heart that she read my mind. There’s no reason for me to be upset.
“You feel something. It’s not strange, since he likes PP”
“I’m happy for her.”
“Liking and being happy are different. Tell me the truth.”
“You mean… Love, like a relationship between a man and a woman, right?”
“Yup.”
“No, it can’t be. I am a girl. We are both women.”
Tee is laughing as he shakes his head.
“I’ve been in love with other women my whole life.” She looks at me and smiles. “I went to a girls’ school, Kate, Jim and everyone else understands a girl loving a girl… including PP”
“…”
“Mon can be like Sam in that way, there’s no hard and fast rule.”
I’m shocked, it’s like I agree with her and every feeling of guilt hits me as I accept what I’ve been trying to deny for so long.
“No, no… it can’t be.”
“Why?”
“Khun Sam has a boyfriend, Mr. Kirk.”
“I didn’t say you might or might not be her girlfriend. I said… that you might like her romantically.
“…”
“Mon, do you like Sam? We asked you this question several times, but you never answered us. I promise you that only we will find out.”
The silence is deafening. While a musical band plays and all the guests are talking, I am silent. I feel pressure from the beautiful girl in front of me, Tee is pushing me against the wall.
Suddenly someone rings a bell to save me.
“Tee, are you ready? It’s time for the surprise for the bride.” Tee is unhappy with Kate, who interrupted us.
“You showed up at the wrong time. Okay, I’m coming.”
“What? Why are you mad at me?”
“It was nothing. Mon, can you be alone for a while?” She asks me worriedly. I nod my head and say:
“All right. It’s just a salon, not the Amazon rainforest.”
“Funny. Give me 10 minutes. I’ll be back after the surprise dance.”
Tee and Kate leave to set things up. Now, I’m alone looking at all that food while I wait. Tee’s question sticks in my head. I’ve been asked that so many times, but I’ve always denied it, because it’s impossible. But why?… Why do they keep asking me that question?
Khun Sam and I are women. We are boss and maid, friends and sisters. It’s impossible?
Furthermore, she dates Mr. Kirk.
“Mon.”
It’s the voice of Mr. Kirk calling out to me, interrupting my thoughts. I hasten to step away, because my face almost hits his chin since he’s taller than me.
“Wow…”
“My hunch was right. You are alone here. Sam is preparing a surprise with Tee and Kate. Is she bored?”
“Not yet, I’m enjoying the food.”
“Come on, I want to see what kind of surprise it is.”
“Right.”
I have a lot of respect for Mr. Kirk because he’s my boss. Not much time passes and the hall is filled with the music of the orchestra, the lights are dimming and the noise of surprise from the guests is louder.
Finally, from a light song, a Korean song starts to play and the SES music video is on the screens.
Hilarious.
Everyone is paying attention to the stage. Jim is in the middle, with the bridesmaids beside him.
“Uhul!”
The song, ‘Im Your Girl’ starts to play and they dance happily. The bride looks wonderful, clapping her hands and dancing with them. All guests too.
Under a luxurious theme full of fun, all eyes are focused on the bride and her dancing. I, who had a lot of things on my mind, forget everything when I see Khun Sam on stage. It’s hard to miss this special moment of hers.
“Khun Sam dances well.”
“This is the first time I have seen her dance.” Mr. Kirk, he said with a movement to match the beat. “Mon, let’s dance to this fun song.”
Despite being shy, I am moved by the rhythm with him. I can’t take my eyes off Khun Sam, who is dancing on stage behind Jim. She hits every step.
“Her choreography is perfect. Looks like she rehearsed a lot.”
“Must have been. She went out several times to rehearse.”
“Saw! I want to marry Sam.”
“…”
“Should I ask her to marry me?”
Before, I was enjoying the dance, but now I slowly stop and look sadly at Khun Sam.
Why does happiness never last for me?
***
And the wedding ceremony draws to a close. Khun Sam is staying for the after-party. And yes, her friends also make me stay longer. Khun Sam still doesn’t understand why I didn’t come to the ceremony in the morning. But when I say I’m spending the night at her place, she gets better.
I feel that Khun Sam expresses his feelings directly to me. From saying nothing more than smiles, you can now get angry directly.
It’s time to go home. The party is over. Khun Sam and I are walking together, even though we’ve talked well, she acts like she’s still grumpy.
“Now you’re close with Kirk? Why is he always with you?”
“I am not. He must be seeing that I’m close to you. So you want to be kind to me. He loves you very much.”
“What about Tee? Why do you like to be with her?”
“Tee always takes good care of me, ever since we first met.”
“You are so nice, bunny.”
“Mon!”
She wasn’t finished talking, but Mr. Kirk interrupts calling for me. Then he walks over to us with a sullen little expression on his face.
“You two left me alone there.”
“Did we have to wait?” Khun Sam looks blankly at his fiance. “Our houses are on different paths, aren’t they?”
“True, but… I brought her here. Then you should take her home.”
“It is not necessary. I take her.” she says impassively. But Mr. Kirk refuses.
“As? Whoever brought her here shouldn’t be taking her home?”
“Don’t make a fuss.”
“Ahh… I need to go to the bathroom. So you two can keep talking while you wait for me.”
I think I should leave them for a moment to decide who is going to take me home. I don’t want to tell Mr. Kirk that I’m spending the night at Khun Sam’s. The house that no one has ever stepped on, even her friends. So I’ll let the beautiful woman explain herself.
Why do I have this privilege of hers?
Just when I’m thinking about it, my heart races. I realize that I have many privileges from my beautiful boss, who is my idol and who has affected my life. If one day these privileges end…
I will be sad…
Despite that, at first I didn’t expect anything, just working at her company was enough for me. It must be my ambition, when I get something I want more. I managed to get closer to her, now I want more and more…
And more…
What I want? … I want more what? What is it?
It’s been 5 minutes. I turn and am shocked when I see Mr. Kirk holding Khun Sam’s face as he looks into her eyes and says:
“Sam, will you marry me?”
Palpitation…
Palpitation…
My heart is pounding like it’s hitting the ground. I can’t do anything but freeze. My arms and legs are weak, I can’t take it anymore. Then my bag drops. ‘Poof’ which makes them turn to me.
“I am really sorry.”
I hurry to grab my purse and turn my back on them, walking away. Suddenly, I hear heels behind me. She holds my hand.
“Mon, it’s not what you’re thinking.” She looks at me in shock. “Bunny, you’re crying.”
“Me me…”
“Why are you crying?”
“My contact lenses fell out…”
“Mon!”
“…”
“Do not lie to me!”
“…”
“Is it because of me?”
she asks me without hesitation. I’m breathing so hard. If she’s going to be straight with me, so am I.
“Yes.”
“…”
“It is because of you, Khun Sam.”
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