Gap Pink Theory Novel Chapter 18 – Am I?
“Hey, tell me.”
“What?”
“Why are you upset?”
Today is another day where I stayed at Khun Sam’s house, as usual. Now we’re watching The Masked Singer – a TV show – which I don’t know what the prize is for the winner, but it’s cool. In the case of my parents, they are not worried about me because they know exactly where I am and I don’t have to wake up early or come back late at night. “I’m not upset.” I reply sullenly, even though I don’t believe what I said myself. “I’m just just…”
“Only…”
“Only…”
“Just…” I tried to figure out what I feel before sighing. “I’m just grumpy knowing you kissed Jim on the cheek. It’s bullshit.”
“Um, really.”
I glare at her. Now she should have said something to cheer me up.
But it’s insane.
“I am used to it. This is my way.”
“Hmm?”
The beautiful woman looks at me and shrugs.
“When Tee was trying to kiss you, I was just as grumpy. So, I understand you now.”
“Serious?” I’m feeling more normal. I’m not weird. “Would you be this grumpy with Tee or Jim or Kate?”
“Not only you.”
“Because I?”
“So, I say the same, why me?”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm.”
Now our brains are working.
“Can I ask you something?” I ask her.
“Yes, what is it?”
“What kind of relationship is ours?”
She acts like she’s thinking deeply and looks at me.
“We have a big age difference…. so we’re not friends… should we be sisters or something?”
“…”
“What is your problem?”
“I don’t know. I’m moody.”
“Are you menstruating?”
I put a pillow on my lap for Khun Sam.
“I better go to bed. My emotions are not stable today. Even though I said we’re sisters, I’m in a bad mood.”
“Then what do you want to be mine?… Ah! I know.” she says excitedly. And I’m interested to know. “You want to be my slave!”
“…”
“I mean, my maid. My grandmother used to call them maids.”
“Good night.”
And I run to bed. Khun Sam keeps talking about what I should be.
Jim’s wedding ceremony is coming up. Khun Sam will be godmother. Today she left the office early because she needs to try on dresses with her friends. So I go back to my house. And this is why she texts me every 10 minutes,
Boss: Are you home?
Boss: What did you have for dinner?
Boss: Did you shower?
Boss: Why are you so quiet? What are you doing?
I can feel the impatience in every word she typed. I’m laughing and as I’m answering her I hear someone cough for a while.
“Mon.”
“Nop.”
So I need to talk to Nop before replying to Khun Sam’s message. My handsome childhood friend is afraid to approach me.
“Come on, Nop.”
“Do you have time to talk?”
Our last conversation didn’t go well at all and I was destined not to reconcile with him because I wanted to make things clear. Now that he’s here, it means he’s accepted everything and wants us to be friends again.
“It’s okay, come in. How are you?”
“It felt like you were abroad. We didn’t see each other… for many days. Your father tells me that you have been staying at Khun Sam’s house.”
“Hmm.” I don’t know why I’m embarrassed to answer him. “It’s close to my office. She is so kind, so she let me stay there.”
“How kind of her. Her boss is very generous with employees.”
he said sarcastically to me. And when he sees that I’m not satisfied, he changes the subject.
“How was your first paycheck?”
“I gave it to Mom.” I’m trying to be nice to him. “But I kept a part.”
“The way we talk… it’s not the same anymore.”
“We are both growing up. We have work and responsibilities.”
“Not. You have a new friend… Khun Sam.”
“Nope…”
I’m getting moody and ready to argue with him again. But the cell phone rings and takes me out of the situation. Khun Sam is calling me.
“One second. They are calling me… Yes, Khun Sam.”
Nop laughs and I pretend to ignore him, controlling myself not to lose my temper.
[What are you doing, bunny?]
“Oh, I’m talking… to Nop.”
I pause for a moment before saying his name. Khun Sam is pressuring me.
[Talked to a friend and already forgot me.]
“No… Not for long.”
[Continues…]
She suddenly hangs up on me leaving me confused, because I don’t know what’s wrong, but one thing is for sure, I’m going to take it all out on the Nop in front of me.
Nop is the reason for the rude conversation I had with Khun Sam.
“I am tired. I’m going home.”
“Mon.”
“What?” I answer him sharply. “I am tired.”
“Do you like Khun Sam?”
“I have liked and admired her for a long time.”
“I mean, are you in a relationship with her?”
“How crazy!” I scream. “It’s disgusting. We are good friends. How could we be in a relationship? We are two women.”
“Did you know that when you talk to her it seems like you are a couple?”
“We are just intimate. You know it well, she has been my idol for a long time.”
“Idol is different from a couple.”
“What do you want, Nop?”
“I just want to be your good friend.” He looks at me gently. “But it seems I expressed myself badly.”
“Yes, he expressed himself badly. How would we be a couple? We are women.”
“Mon, what world do you live in?”
“That’s enough, if you still want to be my friend, stop talking about it.”
“Mon, you can talk to me about anything.”
“But not about that.”
I turn and go straight to my room. I keep looking confused at my phone. It seems I’m scared to talk to Khun Sam, if she doesn’t answer I’ll be disappointed and cry alone.
My only hope now is… The PP gossip group
Doraemon: Girls… Have you finished trying on the dresses yet?
Doraemon: Did it look good on Khun Sam?
Doraemon: She sure will be beautiful.
Doraemon: Khun Sam ate something?
Doraemon: If she hasn’t eaten yet, she’ll have gastritis.
Doraemon: You’re back already? And Khun Sam?
Kate: When are you going to cut to the chase? She left a long time ago. She was smiling at us, which scared us a lot.
Tee: What happened?
Jim: Her smile makes the whole world cry.
It does, she’s mad at me for talking to Nop. And I don’t know why I need to feel guilty about talking to the childhood friend I grew up with and worrying that she’s upset about it.
Kate: Tell us. What happened?
Doraemon: It was nothing. We don’t fight.
Tee: If you two haven’t fought, there’s something else.
Doraemon: Khun Sam called me when he was with a friend.
Tee: A guy or a girl?
Doraemon: A boy.
Tee: Just a friend?
Doraemon: Yes. We are just friends. But what would happen if it wasn’t?
Then silence hangs over the group. It seems they disappeared to discuss something. After a while, Jim sends a message.
Jim: Mon, I’m going to ask you a serious question. Are you and Sam a couple?
Doraemon: Not yet.
Doraemon: No. Why did I say yet? We are not in a relationship. Are…
I stop typing and sigh before writing something that pisses me off inside.
Doraemon: We are sisters.
Tee: The world already had one stupid girl, but now another one has been born! My God! I want to die with you two.
Kate: Mon, I don’t want to rush you, but think carefully and answer me later.
Kate is silent for a few seconds before asking me something that makes my heart race.
Kate: Do you like Sam, Mon?
Why is everyone today asking me this question? Nop and now the girls in the PP gossip group I can’t deal with this.
I must ask Khun Sam. Today, I will have to clarify this.
Doraemon: Sticker
Doraemon: Sticker
Doraemon: Sticker
I see the message has been read but no replies. Khun Sam will wait for me to write something first. It makes me nauseous.
Doraemon: Have a good night.
Boss: Is that all?
It worked! I smile and answer.
Doraemon: What’s the matter with you? Your friends told me you were moody.
Boss: It was boring. The dress didn’t fit right. He was uncomfortable.
Doraemon: You’re grumpy because I didn’t spend the night with you, right? Are you feeling alone?
Boss: Why would I feel alone? I’ve been alone for a long time.
Doraemon: You mean it’s better to sleep alone?
She doesn’t answer me which annoys me. Silence can mean a ‘yes’. It’s not hard to guess.
Doraemon: Why am I the only one who wants to be with you?
Doraemon: Why am I the only one missing you?
I type this begging for a response, but she’s gone for five minutes. I’m disappointed. Then, when I decide to type again, she suddenly responds with perfect timing .
Boss: I miss you too.
Palpitation…
Palpitation…
I drop my phone to the floor as I try to hold my heart in my hand. Maybe it was shock or excitement, but it reminds me of what Kate said in the PP gossip group and it stuck in my head.
Do you like Sam, Mon?
Do you like Sam, Mon?
Her question echoes loudly in my mind over and over again. I look in the mirror on my dressing table. I see my face flush, my eyes are shining like never before… I’m even more shocked.
My God… I’m…
Am I allergic to the fried fish cake my mom made?
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