A Code For Love Read Online Chapter 1 – Ifelt like a fraud.
Crows cawed above as they swept through the moody sky, the ominous sight reminiscent of the current feeling swarming my gut. I rested against the cool metal of my car to take a breath before my life would change forever.
Just as I exhaled, the first drop of rain splashed my nose. It jolted me out of my daydream, and I mustered the last crumbs of my energy to force the trunk shut.
“Always in a rush, Naz.” A nasally, accented voice drifted to my ears.
I turned to find my neighbour, Mrs. Sharma, holding an umbrella over her head and landing a scrutinizing gaze on the boxes in my car.
“Hi Auntie,” I greeted. “No rush. I’m just moving a few things.” It was glaringly obvious those few things were my entire life, but she didn’t need me to confirm that. If I told her the truth, everyone in a ten-kilometer radius would find out too. Who doesn’t love nosy aunties and their mass communication skills?
“Your parents didn’t say anything about you moving.”
That’s because I didn’t tell them it was happening today. “They must have forgotten.” I shrugged.
She shot me a wary look. “I don’t mean to bring up the past, but the last time you moved out, you came back in tears.”
The loaded words landed with needle-like precision on my chest. Of course she would bring that up now. I gave her a polite smile. “This isn’t like last time.”
She hummed an unconvinced sound. “Well, I’m making lunch. Why don’t you come inside?”
“I have to—”
“Prem is home,” she cut off my refusal. “After travelling abroad for work. My poor son works so hard, if only he had a wife to settle down with.” She eyed me with renewed interest.
Prem was also getting drunk every night, shoving his tongue down the throat of anything with a pulse. Alas, none of that mattered with his engineer status, qualifying him for bachelor of the year. If it were up to her, I would have married Prem and made a full-time job out of having her grandchildren. The last time we met, I narrowly escaped a surprise proposal. It was also the last time I was in the vicinity of the Sharma’s.
“Sorry, I should go before the rain comes down harder.” Without waiting for her response and before I was showered in the wet onslaught that hovered over Vancouver, I hastily slipped into the driver’s side. The pointed edges of the moving boxes dug into my ribs, and I could already feel the bruises that would mar my skin tomorrow morning.
The turn of the ignition gave me a weak sputter. Then nothing.
I ignored my other nosy neighbours peeking through their windows as they witnessed my failed attempts to start my car. Somehow, I had amassed my own fan club in my haste to empty my childhood bedroom, and catching their pitiful looks didn’t help with my nervousness.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I muttered under my breath.
Tightening my grip on the steering wheel, I hoped this car wouldn’t give up on me too. My silver Subaru had been with me since my first day of college, and frankly I should leave it behind. But I couldn’t bear to part with it, especially not now.
I whispered a quick prayer before attempting it once, twice, then a third time. Like always, it jerked to life on the third attempt. A triumphant smile
made its way onto my face as I avoided the watchful eyes tracking my every move and pulled out of my parents’ driveway.
I was glad they weren’t home. It would save me a whole lot of judgement. It’s not every day that you get an escape from the darkness that engulfed your life.
The sound of the gravel crunching beneath the damaged tires made me wince. My tires were as bald as my uncle Yash, and I knew I was lucky a cop hadn’t pulled me over yet. This car was teetering on the edge of legality, and I was entrusting my life to it. Fortunately, taking life-altering risks seemed to be my new forte.
If it weren’t for that one drunken night on Indeed, where I had sent my resume to every technology company with an opening, I would still be stuck living with my parents, holed up in my purple bedroom with an eleven p.m. curfew. I was set on crawling out of the remnants of my past life, and I hoped to accomplish it soon.
Now, the cruelty that had painted my life had nothing to do with my parents. They were good parents; loving, caring, and had paid for my bachelor’s degree. It wasn’t them I was desperately seeking refuge from. It was from the man who had controlled my life since I was eighteen. The man that showed up as an angel in my first year of college and became the devil incarnate soon after. Seeing life through my rose-tinted glasses meant the red flags went unnoticed. Instead, my beautiful little head, as he called it, was irrevocably in love with him. Or so I had thought.
The job I managed to secure was from an unexpected stroke of luck. I hadn’t bothered to check that my job search was set to a five-thousand- kilometer radius. Perhaps Toronto would have been a safer bet, but I was not going to complain about landing a job in New York City.
Besides, wasn’t this what every hallmark movie was about? The grouchy main character starting their life anew in the Big Apple to find the larger- than-life city sweeping them off their feet? My situation was slightly
similar, although I didn’t quite fit the grouchy main character mold. I was more of a delicate flower that had been repeatedly stomped on and now tasked with uncrumpling the petals. Not to mention I sure as hell was not turning down the opportunity to be thousands of kilometers away from what I used to think of as my home.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by the woman at the Bellingham State auto-transport waving me over to park in the lot. Shipping my car to its new home cost thousands, so I made sure to stuff it to the brim with my belongings. I rolled down the window, watching the impatient woman tick something on her clipboard.
“Bill of lading and insurance?” she asked, holding out her hand.
She wasn’t looking for idle conversation, that much was clear from her tone. Which was fine with me since I filled my quota of rude interactions at the U.S border. Opening the glove compartment, I handed her the papers. She looked them over, stamped them in a few different places, and handed them back.
“Head inside and wait for them to call your name. Sign the agreements, hand over your keys, and everything will be good to go.”
Before I could ask any questions, she was already walking away to help the car behind me. I called out a quick thank you, but I doubted she heard it or even cared I had said it. Inside, I did as instructed, then waited for my Uber by the curb, scrolling through onboarding emails for my new job as I waited.
Apparently, turning twenty-four and being two years post-graduation meant I should have my life together. So, after releasing my first app, I crossed my fingers for its success. I didn’t have to pray for long because after only a month of its release, I had secured a top ten spot in the app store. A much needed victory after the tumultuous year I’ve had.
Now, the fraudulent feeling settling in my gut wasn’t because I committed a crime. It was because of the little white lie I had told so I could
leave without question. My morals were obviously skewed, but telling my Indian parents this one stipulation would land me right back under their strict rule.
The white car pulled to the curb, and within a few minutes, I arrived at Bellingham International Airport. The large LED screen reflected the on- time status of my flight, causing my leg to bounce nervously until my phone vibrated. It was the one person who could pull me out of my spiralling anxiety.
“Naz! I am so excited. I can’t focus on anything. I told five strangers my best friend is coming.”
“I think I’m going to be sick, Linh. When I booked this flight last week, I was sure something would stop me from coming. My parents, to be exact.” I had gone ahead with this move on a whim but was lucky my best friend would keep me sane in the new city. We had known each other since preschool and have been inseparable ever since. Well, until she moved to a new place.
“They’ll understand why you left the way you did. I’m just glad you’re finally out of there. I didn’t want to leave you last year after everything,” she said in a quiet voice.
Linh had gotten an internship in an art gallery with a renowned artist last year, right after my life fell apart. She was ready to turn down the offer, and that’s when I had to physically drag her to the airport so she wouldn’t miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Her absence during my painful year pushed me to focus on my project. It was the only reason my business management app had been ready six months early.
The flight announcement fell over the airport, and the surrounding people stood. “I know, but it’s all in the past. I’ll see you soon.”
Before I could board the plane, my phone pinged with a text. A text that made my hands shake with nerves and yanked me back into the past I was
trying to forget. My excitement nose-dived, and my chest tightened as I blocked the number.
The one-way ticket in my hand suddenly felt heavier than ever.
I arrived at JFK five hours and two shots of economy alcohol later. My nerves were twisting around my lungs, and the liquid courage had helped me calm down.
Outside, the frigid New York air poked my skin, and a loud voice boomed through the terminal.
“That’s her! Naz, over here!” I heard over the bustle of the arrivals. I could make out a small form leaning out of a car window, vigorously waving her short arms at me. A bright green outfit and long black hair came into view. Linh’s voice carried over the crowd, and a few people shot her annoyed glares. I cut through the busy terminal and made my way over to the frantic figure of my best friend, almost tumbling backward when Linh lassoed me in a tight hug.
“It’s so good to see you!” she squealed, finally releasing me from her hold.
“How did I live an entire year away from you? We are never doing that again.”
She stuck out a pinky, and I curled my own around it in a silent promise.
When we approached the car, a tall man leaned against the passenger side door. He wore light-washed jeans and a black hoodie, an attractive smile on his face. He turned to grab my suitcase before Linh introduced us.
“Naz, this is my friend David. David, this is my best friend, Sarvenaz.” David was at least six feet tall, with flawless fair skin and ink-black hair.
His brown eyes softened as he pulled me in for a one-armed hug. When he turned to place my suitcase in his trunk, I nudged Linh with my elbow. She rolled her eyes, brushing me off when David held open the car door for her and then for me.
“Welcome to New York and congratulations on the new job.” David smiled, his deep voice cutting through the silence.
“She’s a genius! They begged her to come out here,” boasted Linh, grinning back at me.
“I wouldn’t say begged, but thank you. I can’t wait to start.”
He smiled over his shoulder, and I didn’t miss the glance he stole at a beaming Linh in the passenger seat.
“Are you from New York?” I was curious about this mystery man Linh had conveniently failed to mention.
“My family immigrated from South Korea when I was young, but I grew up in Brooklyn. I’m a nurse. That’s how I met Linh when she was working reception at the hospital last year.”
“Last year? Huh. I had no idea you and Linh had been friends for so long.” I shot daggers at the back of Linh’s head. I could tell she knew exactly what I was thinking when she threw me a glare over her shoulder.
We made it to my apartment an hour later. Stepping into the lobby, I barely managed to keep my jaw from unhinging. It certainly lived up to what I was coughing up in rent. Clean white couches, a stone fireplace, marble floors, and a shiny front desk greeted us.
“You live here? I wouldn’t even be able to afford the lobby.” David let out a bewildered breath as we headed up in the elevator.
“I had no idea it would be this…fancy,” I said, raising my hands in defence as we found my door. “It was the only place available at the last minute that wasn’t covered in roaches.
Plus, my parents were adamant that I live in a good neighborhood or else they would not be happy with me moving here.” I conveniently left out the part where I probably would have moved regardless. Most likely into a place a fraction of the cost with the toilet and kitchen in the same room.
But since I was repenting for my past mistakes, I would do anything to make them comfortable. Even something like digging into my savings to secure this ridiculous place. A place that would leave me waiting for my next cheque so I could maybe buy a can of beans for dinner.
“We’ll help you unpack. What do you need us to do?” Linh walked over to get my bags and placed them by the master bedroom.
“Great, but I haven’t bought anything yet. The owners said they would provide a temporary bed and a couch. I only have my own sheets.” I eyed the worn-out grey couch and peeked at the yellow foam mattress collecting dust on the floor of my new bedroom.
“We can go shopping this week. First, let’s make sure you don’t have bedbugs and get these sheets on.”
I shuddered at the thought but followed her lead.
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